Curse

Old Dood · Aug 26, 2005, 10:52 AM // 10:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shinsei

This thread has "I HAVE A VAGINA!" written all over it...

Really? hmmm.... Well I would suggest that you clamp a Chasity Belt on yours. You do not want yours to get out and cause harm to others.

Sho Kasaki · Aug 26, 2005, 10:52 AM // 10:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shinsei

This thread has "I HAVE A VAGINA!" written all over it...

This was really random and if I'm thinking correctly, very rude.

That aside, I've had two online relationships, one of which I got to finally start meshing into an offline one. I got to visit her a couple of times, but it ended after a year when she couldn't exactly keep her thoughts straight. She started to like, talk, and date (while with me) some other guy, and she did it because she couldn't see me online. My computer was down for a week, and even though I visited her house twice in that week, she had this serious urge to screw me over.

Even though it happened in a pretty bad way, we stopped dating and everything and even stopped talking (who wouldn't?). After half-a-year or so, I began talking to her again and she's a real classy kid. Me and her have been good friends since.

My other relationship lasted only five months or so, but those were some fun months. She had a child (she was only seventeen, as well), but I wasn't going to let that stop me from loving this girl as much as possible. Besides, I had plenty of it to spare that I even opted to become her child's new father (the real father ditched her and the baby before it was born).

I really loved her, but I couldn't make it anything past the internet. She lived in Ohio, which made things strictly 'net and phone, but that was fine. We'd talk on the phone for days...quite literally. She would call one day and we'd still be talking the following day, and then finally when nightfall would hit again, we'd hang up and go to sleep. We talked once for more than 24 hours, and it was one of the best experiences in my life.

But after a while, about four months or so, I began to think that she was drifting away from me. We'd hardly say anything on the phone, and when we did, it was of me being scared that she was going to leave me. I had no idea why she would -- she was coming to move in with me. Her parents and her were being evicted, so she needed somewhere to go...where else but with me?

It would have been my first meeting with her...but it never happened. Once my best friend Heather showed back up into my life, she began to suspect that I was the one leaving her. I never thought of the chance, but the more she talked about it and the more she insulted my best friend, I began to think the wrong thoughts.

I eventually broke up with her after she ended up moving to North Carolina, and I dated my best friend. Obviously, a real-life (offline) relationship.

A relationship in fact that ended about a week ago because I lie too much. Not my fault that I have to walk on so many eggshells around her, I couldn't help myself but lie. I never meant to, but I had to in order to keep her happy with me. I only wish that I never did...

Anyway, that's my sob-story about internet relationships, and I'm sticking to it.

Mistress Eyahl · Aug 26, 2005, 12:40 PM // 12:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shinsei

This thread has "I HAVE A VAGINA!" written all over it...

Well, thank god I don't have to prove myself in those endless "Are you REALLY, a real life girl?!?!" threads...

Thanks

Mike Legend · Aug 26, 2005, 12:41 PM // 12:41

I went to America to visit an online friend once, had the best two-week holiday ever. Spoiled slightly by the fact I was there on September 11th and almost didn't get home, but in the end it worked out. Well...she turned into a crazy psycho. But I don't speak to her any more, so I consider that to have "worked out".

I've met a few people online in England that I've eventually met up with for a drink, in fact - some of the first people I ever met up with eventually introduced me to my current girlfriend, who I've been with for well over 2 years now.

And those people weren't even MY online friends, they met my mate online and I went with him to meet them, just in case they turned out to be big hairy men. It's funny how things work

Old Dood · Aug 26, 2005, 12:48 PM // 12:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mistress Eyahl

Well, thank god I don't have to prove myself in those endless "Are you REALLY, a real life girl?!?!" threads...

Thanks

Boy..I don't know Mistress. I think you better send me some pics of you to "prove" yourself. hehehe.

EnDinG · Aug 26, 2005, 01:03 PM // 13:03

I've got to just say, I skimmed the posts in here, but I'll read them another time. I'm sick and not in a werk mood really. And since I've been too busy, haven't posted around much. So heres a post.

Years and years ago I was playing on Bnet, ended up in a clan for a long term, which I still visit the forums even now. Somehow I ended up 'dating' a girl in the clan. It went on for a couple of years with a few visits, ended about a year into university (which was I think 5 years ago now), when she decided to tell me she is really starting to like some other guy, and that we are too far away to actually be a real couple. Sure, I never had a girlfriend before the age of 18, so I got mad, upset, and whatever else comes along with those feelings. Didn't talk to her at all for years, sure I thought about her from time to time, just never had time to get onto AIM and say hi.

Finally did recently, shes with some guy for the last couple of years. One of a kind girl who was just overall great. Played games together all the time, and just enjoyed life as much as we could from our distance away. Phone calls, letters, e-mails...

My second time thu college I somehow ended up with a girl, and sweet god, we fight all the time, argue, and disagree, but we have been together for 2 1/2 years so far. The odd couple of breakups, some problems, but they have been worked out and we are doing swell.

Off topic there... LoL. Friends online? I've made more then I can count. Keeping in contact? Thats the hard part for me. Sure, I'll play games with them for years, but if the clan breaks up or if they move onto another social scene (another clan for example) their time works into their new clan so they can take part in the fun with those people. I might just not be interested in what they are playing or doing.

I have hundreds of people on all my IM's, but I don't talk to many since I don't have much time. If they throw me a, "Hey, how have you been?" sure I'll stop and chat for a short time. Life gets busy and your social skills die off. Bleh.

Congrads to anyone whos kept an online friend for a good many of years. Its hard sometimes, but its a good feeling when you know you can share events such as gaming and your options on it with them WITHOUT the massive feedback that forums or other types of public announcement gives you.

Toodles for now.

Thanas · Aug 26, 2005, 01:19 PM // 13:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scaper-X

Wholly agreed. Being "limited" to text only allows for a pure stream of thoughts and feelings directly from one brain to those reading. While people can either lie or twist the truth about said thoughts, those that don't are able to show themselves entirely online: their true self.

Pleased to see others chiming in.
-- Scaper-X

I was having a conversation with a friend about this once. We never really came to a mutual conclusion though. The debate we had was sparked by a thought I had a couple of years beforehand. The thought was really a question and after our debate we had two different answers. The question was as follows.

"Who is the real you?"

I remember asking myself this question for a number of reasons. Firstly I'm actually quite a shy person and was very shy at the point in time I had this thought. I found that after drinking or whilst speaking to people over the internet I was able to open up. That is to say in such situations my inhibitions were removed, one might say they are situations outside of my normal reality. I began to think to myself is this the real me? I wanted it to be. I enjoyed being more confident and being able to express myself better. This question made me think a lot and I never really came to a conclusion. Eventually I sort of forgot about it.

So after our debate and me mulling over these thoughts again with a fresh head I came to the following conclusion. I am me with all my inhibitions. I am not perpetually intoxicated and my primary mode of communication is not the internet. So the reality which I experience in everyday life is one where I have my inhibitions. And they are there for a reason, no matter how inconvenient they are. What is the point in pretending you are something else when you are not. If I spent my life perpetually talking to people on the internet and always drunk then that would be my reality and my inhibitions would not really form a part of me. However this is not the case. So I guess what I'm trying to say is you can speak to people on the internet and lose all your inhibitions, but from my POV you are just lying to them and yourself about who you are.

Sorry if that confused people.

Crimson_1190 · Aug 26, 2005, 01:30 PM // 13:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thanas

I was having a conversation with a friend about this once. We never really came to a mutual conclusion though. The debate we had was sparked by a thought I had a couple of years beforehand. The thought was really a question and after our debate we had two different answers. The question was as follows.

"Who is the real you?"

I remember asking myself this question for a number of reasons. Firstly I'm actually quite a shy person and was very shy at the point in time I had this thought. I found that after drinking or whilst speaking to people over the internet I was able to open up. That is to say in such situations my inhibitions were removed, one might say they are situations outside of my normal reality. I began to think to myself is this the real me? I wanted it to be. I enjoyed being more confident and being able to express myself better. This question made me think a lot and I never really came to a conclusion. Eventually I sort of forgot about it.

So after our debate and me mulling over these thoughts again with a fresh head I came to the following conclusion. I am me with all my inhibitions. I am not perpetually intoxicated and my primary mode of communication is not the internet. So the reality which I experience in everyday life is one where I have my inhibitions. And they are there for a reason, no matter how inconvenient they are. What is the point in pretending you are something else when you are not. If I spent my life perpetually talking to people on the internet and always drunk then that would be my reality and my inhibitions would not really form a part of me. However this is not the case. So I guess what I'm trying to say is you can spek to people on the internet and lose all your inhibitions, but from my POV you are just lying to them and yourself about who you are.

Sorry if that confused people.

but like all things, if you lie to yourself long enough you start to believe it. I don't think people are as deep/complicated as they think they are. There is sort of a Cramer-Rao bound on the unbiased observations you make sampling people, meaning without knowing anything about their past/who they are you can do no better than a certain variance. After a while I think you can see though the BS, i do it with my friend all the time. She keeps asking how I know what she is thinking/Doing (hehe she doesn't believe me that i set up cameras in her room, silly girl

). I just think after a while the real person in any mode of communication comes through, maybe not with the sound and fury of a shot gun blast, but in the small things they do. Noone ever sees the real you, they just sample see a channel distorted version with noise added and attempt to discern it using every analysis tool in their toolbox.

ayb · Aug 26, 2005, 01:45 PM // 13:45

21 boyfriends by the time you're 20. and by "boyfriends" im gonna assume you mean serious relationship that lasted for an extended period of time. no telling how many "flings" theres been. you're never going to find what you're looking for in someone else, online or off, until you can find it in yourself. that would be my focus for the moment if i were you.

chalt2 · Aug 26, 2005, 02:03 PM // 14:03

Eyahl, I'll put in my 2 cents, for what it's worth.

I have been "on-line" since 1992 and I have met serveral dozen people through that portal over the years and have maintained several of those relationships to this day. I also have friends and family that have moved away and we use the net and gaming to stay intouch and interact. I have met people that I have later met in real life due to our mutual desire to do so, one of those meetings led to a physical relationship that eventually ceased on the physical side but we remain in contact to this day. My point here is that weather it's the internet or a bar there are possibilities and dangers in both.

So why is frowned upon to endevor into an "on-line" relationship that could still blossum into a "real" relationship? I think it is because some people are fixated on appearance and not personality and intelligence and appearance can be hidden or manipulated behind an internet entity so can many other things but if you are intelligent and careful you can see through those falsehoods. I can know someone better by talking to them and asking questions over the internet or from behind a wall than I can from a picture or a visual representation. I'll trust my mind before I trust my eyes anyday of the week! When it comes to people.

Mistress, don't let any of these bozos talk you down, I trust your itelligence and your self-confidence so you keep on asking your questions and speaking your mind!

Bizarro_Jesus · Aug 26, 2005, 02:16 PM // 14:16

I don't post a lot here at GWG, but I will today and on this post.

I'm 25 years old, married, and work at a major corporation as a web designer.

Geek right?

I'm also 6' 4", lift weights and train(off and on) in martial arts.

Still a geek right? Yes. I'm proud of it. I think you become cool the moment you accept who you are and just be yourself.

Anyways...moving on.

I have played in First Person Shooter clans for the last 5 years. I even ran one. I have met many, many friends via gaming and they have become my RL friends too. I don't live near most of them, but the ones I do live near hang out all the time.

One of my friends, I and now see every weekend. She rocks!

Sadly, my wife is not a gamer. Except for Bejeweled and Mahjong. *sigh*

So, yeah, people met online can be really, really swell. The trick is to talk to them long enough to figure out if they're crappy immature a-holes (like the ones trying to hijack this thread or saying insulting stuff) or if they're decent folk.

Thanas · Aug 26, 2005, 02:57 PM // 14:57

I hope that I'm being referred to as a bozo or an immature a-hole. My POV is as valid as anyone elses. I'm not saying there is a definite right or wrong. All I'm doing is conveying my view on the subject matter, which is all I can hope to do.

Bizarro_Jesus · Aug 26, 2005, 03:14 PM // 15:14

No, no, Thanas. I'm not referring to you. You posted what you thought in an educated and clear manner. Voicing an opinion is different than straight up insulting someone with baseless accusations.

I have an open mind and can see your point of view.

I can't stand people who just randomly insult a thread out of (I don't know) immaturity? Inability to just not be an a-hole? I've always said there are two camps of people on the internet. The ones who are cool (and can argue without going apesh*t) and the ones who go bonkers if you disagree with them and result to insulting you with generic and low-brow insults.

Esprit · Aug 26, 2005, 03:32 PM // 15:32

No personal stories about online relationships, though another forum I visit, one that caters to personal interests and what-not, have had quite a few people either get married, or started dating, via that forum. There is a couple, the guy lives in Canada, and the girl lives in Slovenia, and they've been dating online for the last three years, and within the last year, they met twice.

There have been at least four or five couples who met and then married through the forum, starting as an online relationship. It happens, and the couples claim they are very happy, as they got to know each other's personality before meeting in real life.

Thanas · Aug 26, 2005, 03:34 PM // 15:34

OK Cheers. I completely agree with you though. I find it very frustrating when people make insulting comments and add nothing to a discussion. Its just a waste of space. If you don't agree with someone you can at least have the decency to say so and justify yourself. That way both parties gain some insight into one another.

chalt2 · Aug 26, 2005, 03:42 PM // 15:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thanas

I hope that I'm being referred to as a bozo or an immature a-hole. My POV is as valid as anyone elses. I'm not saying there is a definite right or wrong. All I'm doing is conveying my view on the subject matter, which is all I can hope to do.

Thoughful and constructive posts are NEVER frowned upon, however simple no point posts like the one below is what I think we're talking about and the people that post them.

Quote:

No. Come on, don't be silly.

Macievelli · Aug 26, 2005, 04:31 PM // 16:31

Several months ago I met a woman in GW that I ended up doing several missions with. As the head of a guild that was (at the time) searching for new members, I thought I would ask her to join, as she seemed intelligent and was a good, mature player. She joined. In my mind at the time, that's all there was to it. She ended up being a great addition to the team.

Over a period of several months, we began to talk more and more in game, play more missions together, etc. At some point we began spending more time in the guild hall just talking, and at somepoint began flirting. Well, that led eventually to a phone call, which lasted for hours. Well, after several months of using up my rollover minutes, we decided to meet one another, as we were pretty interested in each other already.

Cut to present day. We've met, and it was perfect. Like meeting the other half of each other. We are crazy abotu each other, and will be moving in together soon! SO...it can happen.

For the record, I'm 37 and never been married. I've had several long term relationships. Being self employed as product/industrial designer and photographer, I spend way too many hours sitting in front of my computer screen at home. That being said, it makes perfect sense to me that I would end up meeting someone online. After all, things are much different now than they were for our parents or grandparents. The benefit of meeting her in game without any preconceptions or visual stigmas was a very large benefit. I got to know her mind, character (real one, not game) and personality well before having to meet face to face and deal with that aspect. It was great having it happen that way. I grew to like who she was before liking how she looked. In today's world that is a huge bonus, as far as I'm concerned. I got to know her as a person first.

We are both VERY happy.

Mistress Eyahl · Aug 26, 2005, 05:28 PM // 17:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by ayb

21 boyfriends by the time you're 20. and by "boyfriends" im gonna assume you mean serious relationship that lasted for an extended period of time. no telling how many "flings" theres been. you're never going to find what you're looking for in someone else, online or off, until you can find it in yourself. that would be my focus for the moment if i were you.

I'm fuming. Let me calm down and I shall reply to this person who "assumes" to know me and deems himself worthy to give me advice on "finding myself".

No I'm gonna answer now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ayb

21 boyfriends by the time you're 20. and by "boyfriends" im gonna assume you mean serious relationship that lasted for an extended period of time.

Did you actually read all my post?! I think I remember stating that only 7 of the odd 21 ish were proper older relationships. Christ, half the 21 were boys I held hands with in the playground under the age of 10 and invited round mine for fish fingers and to play in my paddling pool!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ayb

..no telling how many "flings" theres been.

Excuse me? There have been none thank you very much and how about you ask politely instead of an outrageous statement such as that. Do you know how to talk politely to women? I mean, that was a few steps short of calling me a slag.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ayb

...you're never going to find what you're looking for in someone else, online or off, until you can find it in yourself. that would be my focus for the moment if i were you.

I'm sorry, but how dare you pressume to tell me that my reason for 21 sodding boyfriends is because I haven't "found myself". Who died and made you a frikkin psychologist? I am a strong and independant person, I rely on NO-ONE for my happiness. I have been extremely comfortable being single I have NEVER whined that I wished I had a boyfriend, and I will NEVER look for that "something" in one of you. No thank you.

This is just the type of bull**** people love to say to sound clever, but don't ACTUALLY know what it means.
Find what I'm looking for? Wtf am I supposed to be looking for? Happiness? Love? Comfort? I'm not looking for any of those, nor any such things along similar lines.
Lol, and find it in myself. Okay, lets all take a minute to breathe in deep and find that little inner light. Is it there? Is it glowing? It is! WOW! Now we can go and share our little inner light with other people! Omg, we're such well grounded, mature adults now aren't we. We're READY for relationships.

Excuse my extremely harsh and frustrated post, but am I so CROSS that someone presumes (and yes you used the word assume yourself), to know ANYthing about me. And you didn't even read my origional post properly.
My conclusion is that you have your own problems, so dire are they that you need to wastse your time typing an

Quote:

Originally Posted by ayb

post about my life and personality. You jealous or something?

Next time, just... don't bother.

Calnaion Blackhawk · Aug 26, 2005, 06:14 PM // 18:14

man, i cant be assed to read that, but i presume its sweet reveng or some good answers to some stupid questions lmao

Esprit · Aug 26, 2005, 06:36 PM // 18:36

Post #58 is a response to personal attacks, with explanation.